Brexit: disappointed Brits and other Europeans share their thoughts

Me, a British-Italian national, living in Germany
The more I read and the more I think about Brexit, the more worried and frightened I am about the future.

The results of the referendum were a huge shock for me and millions of others, but what I find just as shocking is the hatred that these results have fuelled. As well as the extremely worrying reports of racism in the UK in the wake of the leave vote, I am concerned about the angry statements of some my European (non-British) friends.
 Although leave won by 52% to 48%, millions of Brits wanted to remain in the EU. They voted Remain because they want to be part of the EU and cannot understand why the rest of the country wants to leave. Much has been said about Regrexit and some voters changing their minds (once they had witnessed the devastating effects on the economy, on the domestic political landscape and the lies that the leave campaign was based on, amongst other things). Some people have indicated that given a second chance they would vote differently. 

Unfortunately, the events of the past week have not shed a positive light on the UK and on British people, so I would like to share the views of some British friends and Europeans, who have made a home in the UK, who are shocked and upset about the results of the referendum. Just like me, they believed in the dream of a European Union.  

Carol, a British national, living in the UK

"So much of my life has been defined by the EU and the fact of the British presence within it. I spent time in an EU country while at university, under an EU programme. I did my PhD alongside EU students in a top UK university, which of course is partly funded by the EU both in direct (research) and indirect (paying students) terms. I lived and worked in the same EU country after my degree, which was easy because of my nationality. I worked with academics from all over the world and saw the competition for EU funding and the advantage that funding and collaboration brings to science.

The way that I think, the way that I am, has been defined by my life experience, and I'm not sure how to conceive of a UK outside of the EU. If you voted to leave, I'm sure you had your reasons; maybe you feel as strongly about it as I do. Please bear with me while I try to adjust to a new and unwelcome world view."

Sarah, a British national living in the US
"I identify as European as much as British and to have that taken away from me is like someone trying to take away a part of what makes me me. It’s a decision that hits right at the core of who we are personally and then on a bigger scale throughout the UK, Europe and the world."

Nadine, a German national living in the UK
"I came to the UK as an exchange student and over the past 12 years I have built myself a home, worked and partied hard, forged many friendships and did what I could for this country, by contributing to the economy, petitioning for my library and volunteering in a local park. But I was happy to do that because I felt one with this country.

When the Brexit result came in, I was actually in Berlin. Germany has now become my holiday destination and the UK my home. My first reaction was utter shock and disbelief. I had anticipated a tight outcome, but I always believed that good sense and decency would prevail. Many of the people who voted Leave have been used by a campaign which was a simple scramble for the top. The campaign was indecent because inciting xenophobia is always indecent, looking for a scapegoat is indecent and using people's fear to your own advantage is indecent.

Two days after the results, I went back to a changed country. I always felt that London was my home, England my adopted country and I felt welcomed here. I cherished the openness and friendliness of the people, their helpfulness and cheerfulness despite the weather. When I stepped off the plane at Gatwick and onto the train, for the first time I didn’t really feel at home any more. I somehow didn’t feel welcome. Worse, I actually felt betrayed. I also felt very sad, that Britain had not recognised the good of the EU and that immigration had been used on both sides, Leave and Remain, for their power struggle.

If Leave used lies and scare tactics to achieve their goal then the Remain side did not do enough to dispel those lies. Unfortunately, once you have sown the seed of xenophobia it is hard to rid yourself of it again. Yesterday while walking through a park and talking on the phone in German, for the first time I was conscious of the fact that I was speaking a different language and that somebody may tell me to go home – wherever that is now..."

Finally, if you haven't yet read this, here is the wonderful description of our European family by my brother Stefano.

I present you my very European family, from left to right:
Claudio my father Italian, lived all his life in sunny Palermo.
Michael my brother in law born in Germany, met my sister in France, lived and worked in London now lives in Berlin.

Leonardo my nephew, born and bred in Berlin, he is German Italian British, at the age of 4 speaks 3 languages, and is very fond of aeroplanes, fire engines and cruise ships.
Rachel my mother, born in Britain to British parents, moved to Italy in her 20s still there 40 odd years later.
Audrey my grandmother, British born, her daughter(Rachel) and her son(Nic) live in Italy, sister married a German man and as a result has two half German half British nieces.
Linda my sister, Born in Britain, grew up in Italy, went to university in Sheffield and France, moved to Germany, worked in London for years now lives in Berlin.
Me, born in Britain, grew up in Italy, went to uni in Italy, Australia for a term and Brighton, moved to London 10 years ago, work with USA and India, spend most of his time in the Netherlands.
Ellie Wrate my girlfriend, born and bred in Newcastle to a half Austrian father, went to university in Scotland and Italy, lived in France and Australia, lives in London.
Behind the camera is Jem my uncle, born in England, has lived most of his adult life in Scotland, spends most of his free time in Germany.
This is what the European Union looks like not a divided continent based on false accusations and made up numbers, it is idea that our grandfather spawned from the ashes of a war torn continent that dreamt about a peaceful future where people could be free and live in harmony.
Don't listen to hate fuelled xenophobes, vote remain and ask your government for reform!

 
This is the European Union. Let's keep the dream alive. Let's make our voices heard and fight for the UK to remain in the EU.

My life in the EU

Yesterday I was shocked, sad and angry. Today I am still angry with the people that have voted to leave, but I am mostly sad. I am sad for the 48% of the British population that wanted to remain and I am especially sad for the young people that could not even vote and that will never experience life in the EU.
I was born in the UK and I grew up in Italy in a British/Italian family. I spent most of my summers as a child in the UK.

I studied at a British university and most of my friends were undergraduates, Erasmus* students, PhD students and postdocs from the EU. 

I studied at a French university for a year, as an Erasmus student from a British university, and met lots of lovely people from the EU, including the UK. In France I also met my German husband, by the way.

When I finished my degree I moved to Germany, where I worked and spent my free time with lots of Brits living and working in Germany.

I then moved to London, where I studied and worked with young people from the EU that were living, studying and/or working in the UK.

Now I live in Berlin, which is also the home of thousands of Brits.

My life would not have been the same without the EU. I would not have met most of my friends. I would not have met my husband and I would not have a son that can speak three languages.

I am sorry for the young generation living in England and Wales (Scotland and Northern Ireland may choose a different path) that will not be able to have the same wonderful experiences. They will never know what it meant to be part of the European Union.

*The Erasmus Programme is an EU exchange student programme that has been in existence since the late 1980s. Its purpose is to provide foreign exchange options for students from within the European Union and it involves many of the best universities and seats of learning on the continent.

Are German parents more laid-back?

Sand + water = lots of fun

As a mother with a British/Italian background living in Berlin, I often find myself observing and comparing different parenting styles.  When I first started taking my child to the playgrounds in Berlin I was struck by how relaxed some German mothers (and fathers) appeared to be.  They let their children roam free through the playground, while they chatted at the edge of the sandpit and often did not even check on their little ones (or so it seemed at the time).

At the playground with Papa

Once when our son was about a year and a half, my husband* came home from the playground saying that some mothers had actually teased him for being too anxious and following our son wherever he went.  One mother claimed that she only looked up if her children were crying and/or covered in blood, otherwise she would simply let them get on with it.  Another mother also laughed at what she called “the anxious first-time father”.

So are German parents more laid-back? Fast-forward a year or so.  I am at the playground trying my best to adopt the “let your child get on with it” attitude, while chatting with one of these mothers. Suddenly her son starts crying and in a matter of seconds she is by his side, has picked him up and is soothing him.  This is not her first child by the way.  There is no blood in sight; in fact, the child does not seem to be hurt at all.  About 15 minutes later, the same situation is repeated.**

Last summer my child went away for two nights with his Italo-German nursery.  It was the first time my three-year-old had been away from home without his parents or grandparents. Obviously I was anxious and I regularly checked my phone in case of any missed calls or messages, but otherwise I just assumed that things were going well.  Guess who called the holiday resort to check if the children had arrived safely?  No, it was not an Italian mother or father; it was a German parent.  So in my experience German parents may have a more relaxed approach to parenting, but deep down they are just as worried about their kids as everyone else.

*   He has a German passport.

** I would have done the same thing, but I am not the one pretending to be cool and relaxed.