My life in the EU

Yesterday I was shocked, sad and angry. Today I am still angry with the people that have voted to leave, but I am mostly sad. I am sad for the 48% of the British population that wanted to remain and I am especially sad for the young people that could not even vote and that will never experience life in the EU.
I was born in the UK and I grew up in Italy in a British/Italian family. I spent most of my summers as a child in the UK.

I studied at a British university and most of my friends were undergraduates, Erasmus* students, PhD students and postdocs from the EU. 

I studied at a French university for a year, as an Erasmus student from a British university, and met lots of lovely people from the EU, including the UK. In France I also met my German husband, by the way.

When I finished my degree I moved to Germany, where I worked and spent my free time with lots of Brits living and working in Germany.

I then moved to London, where I studied and worked with young people from the EU that were living, studying and/or working in the UK.

Now I live in Berlin, which is also the home of thousands of Brits.

My life would not have been the same without the EU. I would not have met most of my friends. I would not have met my husband and I would not have a son that can speak three languages.

I am sorry for the young generation living in England and Wales (Scotland and Northern Ireland may choose a different path) that will not be able to have the same wonderful experiences. They will never know what it meant to be part of the European Union.

*The Erasmus Programme is an EU exchange student programme that has been in existence since the late 1980s. Its purpose is to provide foreign exchange options for students from within the European Union and it involves many of the best universities and seats of learning on the continent.

Are German parents more laid-back?

Sand + water = lots of fun

As a mother with a British/Italian background living in Berlin, I often find myself observing and comparing different parenting styles.  When I first started taking my child to the playgrounds in Berlin I was struck by how relaxed some German mothers (and fathers) appeared to be.  They let their children roam free through the playground, while they chatted at the edge of the sandpit and often did not even check on their little ones (or so it seemed at the time).

At the playground with Papa

Once when our son was about a year and a half, my husband* came home from the playground saying that some mothers had actually teased him for being too anxious and following our son wherever he went.  One mother claimed that she only looked up if her children were crying and/or covered in blood, otherwise she would simply let them get on with it.  Another mother also laughed at what she called “the anxious first-time father”.

So are German parents more laid-back? Fast-forward a year or so.  I am at the playground trying my best to adopt the “let your child get on with it” attitude, while chatting with one of these mothers. Suddenly her son starts crying and in a matter of seconds she is by his side, has picked him up and is soothing him.  This is not her first child by the way.  There is no blood in sight; in fact, the child does not seem to be hurt at all.  About 15 minutes later, the same situation is repeated.**

Last summer my child went away for two nights with his Italo-German nursery.  It was the first time my three-year-old had been away from home without his parents or grandparents. Obviously I was anxious and I regularly checked my phone in case of any missed calls or messages, but otherwise I just assumed that things were going well.  Guess who called the holiday resort to check if the children had arrived safely?  No, it was not an Italian mother or father; it was a German parent.  So in my experience German parents may have a more relaxed approach to parenting, but deep down they are just as worried about their kids as everyone else.

*   He has a German passport.

** I would have done the same thing, but I am not the one pretending to be cool and relaxed.

Growing up with three languages

"British Airways to London Heathrow on Saturday, ready to land."

"Aereo Alitalia in partenza per Roma."

"Lufthansa Flugzeug von Frankfurt nach Chicago."

The other day I was listening to my three-year-and-ten-month-old son while he was playing alone in his room. The way he could switch languages was absolutely fascinating. He was playing with his little planes and one minute he was speaking English, the next he was making an announcement in Italian and 30 seconds later he had moved on to German.... 

There are so many studies showing the positive effects of growing up with more than one language and yet I still hear a lot of doubt and prejudice on the subject. For example, people often tell me that children learning more than one language start to speak later. It might be true in some cases, but in my experience it's not the rule. 

How many times have I heard the story about when I said "pwetty twee" in front of the Christmas tree at eighteen months?
 

Multilingual playground in Berlin

I grew up in a bilingual (English/Italian) environment, my son goes to a bilingual (German/Italian) nursery and I know several children that are growing up with two or three languages (including German, English, Italian, Spanish, Russian, Japanese, Bulgarian and Farsi). 

A friend of mine was recently telling me about her son's new German nursery, in Berlin Mitte, where the majority of children speak two or three languages.

I haven't noticed any significant difference in the way multilingual children speak compared with monolingual children. In fact, in some cases I would say that their skills can be more advanced.

Of course, sometimes they mix their languages ("Io voglio mangiare Vanille Eis!") and the Grammar is not always perfect ("Io sono finito" instead of "Io ho finito"), but surely that's no big deal.

I remember when I was expecting Leo, I told my midwife that I was hoping he would grow up speaking three languages. She seemed to think that Italian and German would suffice and that English could be a secret language between Mamma and Papa. Well she couldn't have been more wrong: Leo already understands practically every word we say in English and, if we need to speak in code, we either have to spell the words out ("P I Z Z A" or "I C E"  "C R E A M") or say them in French (il est fatigué; never mention that little one is "tired" in English, Italian or German!). 

That works, at least for now.

Are you raising a bilingual or trilingual child? What is your experience? Comments welcome!