Today I am going to take a break from Brexit to address a really serious problem faced by anyone who lives in Germany: Why are so many Germans unfriendly and what can be done to improve their (and our) lives?
I really hate stereotypes and generalisations about nationalities, but after over 10 years (with a two-year gap in London in between) of living in Germany (Mainz, Weinheim, Saarbrücken, Berlin), I am still confronted with this problem on an almost daily basis.
Example 1) I've landed at Tegel or Schönefeld airport. I've barely got off the plane when I hear some angry person shouting in German about something trivial, such as, other travellers blocking the way or causing some other minor disruption. You've just got back from holiday for goodness' sake, you should be R E L A X E D!
Example 2) I've just got onto a shaky tram with Leo and we manage to find seats opposite an elderly couple. While the tram starts moving, I help Leo to his seat and his little foot inadvertently brushes against the knee of the old man sitting opposite. Most people would simile, but this man pulls a disgusted face and makes some unintelligible remark. The only possible reaction other than yelling at him: "Cheer up, you miserable old man" is to get up and change seats.
Example 3) There are roadworks and the cycle lane is blocked. The road is narrow and dangerous, while the pavement is wide, spacious and almost empty. So I cycle slowly on the pavement keeping out of the way of pedestrians, but a woman waiting at the tram stop shouts at me because I'm not on the cycle lane (which is inaccessible, by the way). Woman, R E L A X!
Example 4) I'm crossing a pedestrian bridge and I am pushing my bike with little Leo sitting behind in the trailer. At the beginning of the bridge, there is a sign telling cyclists to dismount. There are parents with pushchairs walking towards me and the narrow bridge is rather crowded. What does the guy on the racing bike behind me do? He shouts because I'm too slow! Er hello, do you realise we are on a pedestrian bridge and this is not the Tour de France?
Example 5) At the airport again, this time at the gate waiting to board our Brian Air flight. The Brian Air employee is rushing around checking everyone's bags and putting stickers on the larger ones. Suddenly the over-stressed and frustrated employee starts shouting and threatening a young petite lady in the queue, just because she has kindly asked him to talk to her politely. The non-German passengers are aghast and some of us go up to the lady to offer our sympathy.
These are just five examples, but I could go and and on and on...
So what can be done?
We could start wearing t-shirts with slogans and carrying signs, such as, "Smile, relax and enjoy life", or "Life is too short to be miserable".
We could send all unfriendly Germans away for a year to Jamaica or somewhere similar to learn to relax and be friendly.
We could make relaxation and "How to be polite to people around you" courses compulsory.
Any other suggestions?
Of course, I'm not suggesting that everyone in Germany is like this. There are lots of friendly and smiley people in Germany. Unfortunately though, there are too many unfriendly ones and something clearly has to be done.
