Darling come back!Not so fast!
Stop!
This way!
Be a good boy (or girl)!
Well done!
Aren't you a sweetie pie...
Wait for me!
Slow down!
Don't put that into your mouth. Spit it out!
STOOOOOP! COME BAAACK! I said NO!!!
Have you ever heard someone talking to their dog and wondered whether they might instead be talking to a child?If you have, then that's at least two of us.
I'm not sure what is more disturbing: the fact that people talk to their dogs the way parents talk to their children or the fact that parents communicate with their children the way humans talk to dogs???
In fact, until I became a parent myself, I never realised how much parents and dog owners have in common:
- They can't just go on holiday whenever they like.
- They need babysitters (or dogsitters).
- They need to make special trips to the paediatrician (or vet).
- Dogs have leashes - children have walking reins.
- Children and dogs like making a mess, but their parents and owners are not so keen to clean up after them.
- Parents and dog owners get lots of free exercise and fresh air.
- Parents always talk about their children - dog owners always talk about their dogs.
As far as I can tell the main differences are
- Dogs don't shout "Ich bin nicht müde; Ich will wach bleiben!" (I am not tired; I want to stay awake!") at bedtime.
- Your dog is always happy to see you - that's not always the case with your child.
- Chocolate is toxic to dogs, but addictive to children.
- Dogs don't lie (but mummy said I could watch a cartoon!!!)
- You can train a dog (having said that, I know some German parents that have done a pretty good job of training their children)
- And a parent would never say: "Don't worry: he's not dangerous!" when their child runs up to a stranger.
